Teacher Who Takes Ten Weeks to Grade Papers Shocked by Late Assignment

By Audrey Smith

Extremely tenured teacher Elbur Pickle was deeply offended when a student submitted an assignment one day late. 

“Deadlines are sacred,” said Pickle, who has not yet graded assignments from a previous presidential administration. “They teach students discipline–something many of them clearly lack.”

Pali student Rachel Lin explained, “It’s been really frustrating for me because I spent so long on this essay and I’m still waiting for my grade back.” She graduated in 2007.

“I turned in my midterm in December,” said senior Will Brown. “I’ve emailed him three times since, but he said he’s still ‘absorbing the nuances.’ It was a Scantron.” Brown has since transferred into AP Statistics because “it’s the same math I was doing to guess my grade.”

One student attempted to file a formal complaint. Pali’s Main Office issued a response: “We take allegations of timelessness very seriously. Processing time is currently estimated at 3 semesters.”